There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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