You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
not ubering you a puppy
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
