I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
