What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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