Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize