Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Verdict: uncircumcised.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
