I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize