Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
