Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
