So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
