I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
