This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just google imaged poop.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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