I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
