Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
