i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
