Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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