I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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