So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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