If i come over, it means nothing
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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