Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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