No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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