What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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