Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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