I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her vagine was all disorganized.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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