i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
