Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
