Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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