I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
