so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
