hotel room ftw
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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