And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
