No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
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I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
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I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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