you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize