look no pants
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
