Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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