i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
PANTIES FOUND
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize