ya dads aren't the best wingmen
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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