just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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