there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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