next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize