The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
