If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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