Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
