For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
bring money and cleavage
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize