I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize