I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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