Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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