I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
