We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
