I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
