Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You have to summon your inner elephant
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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