New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize