Its about making memories worth repressing
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
