It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
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Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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