Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
