my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
