i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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