I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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