Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
