You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
