'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
