wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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