Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
