It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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