We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
