you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
